The first tip for avoiding getting arrested for public intoxication is simple. Just tell the cop you aren't drunk. You've seen your friends try this one a million times, and it hasn't exactly worked -- ever -- but maybe just this once they'll believe you. The best way to pull this one off is to avoid slurring your words as much as possible. Also, you may want to avoid calling the cop "man," "dude," or "bro." Always be formal and remember to call the officer sir or ma'am.
If that doesn't work (which it probably won't), click on for more ideas.
[Be warned, we don't guarantee that any of these will get you off the hook. We also don't guarantee that they won't get you in more trouble than you bargained for. But they sure will be funny!]