Do you hate the fact that the Christmas season arrives earlier and earlier each year? Do you feel a sharp pain behind your eye when you see stores putting up Christmas displays in mid-October? You should be outraged! We should be fighting back against this holiday tyranny!
October is no time for Christmas trees and eggnog. October is the time of autumn leaves and apple cider! October is the time of Halloween, ghosts, and goblins! Christmas shouldn't start until at least November, and preferably not until after Thanksgiving is out of the way.
It's time we put a stop to this madness. It's the only decent and humane thing to do.