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Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? A: One holds groceries, the other molests children.

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Q: What did the mouse say to the elephant? A: Nothing. Mice can't talk.

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Q: What did Helen Keller name her dog? A: Oggkhknmfdsnkmnfdjznfj.

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A black guy walks into a bar. He paid his tab and couldn't have been more polite.

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Q: Why couldn't Sally ride a bike? A: Because Sally had cerebral palsy.

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Q: What did the hobo get for Christmas? A: Nothing.

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Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? A: To go and seek counseling or at least some kind of legal advice because her significant other appears, on the surface at least, to be violent and dangerous.

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Two guy's walked into a bar. And had an awesome time.

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Q: How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? A: One.

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