How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Some say the amount of wood chucked depends on three factors: 1) The woodchuck's desire to chuck said wood, 2) The woodchuck's need to chuck the aforementioned wood, 3) The woodchuck's ability to chuck the wood when it is a woodchuck.
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Older Answers
Woodchucks prefer burrowing to climbing trees. But they can chuck a lot of dirt, so if they COULD chuck wood, watch out! ChaCha!
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NY state wildlife expert Richard Thomas found that a woodchuck could (and does) chuck around 35 cubic ft of dirt in the course of digging a burrow. He reasoned that if a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would chuck an equivalent amt: 700 pounds.
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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Average amount of wood a woodchuck would chuck in a given day: 668 butt cords of wood.
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Sixteen and 1/2 board feet a day, except on groundhog's day since groundhog is another name for woodchuck, according to no less an authority than the 'Junior Woodchucks Guidebook', a publication often consulted by Huey, Dewey, and Louie Duck.
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Due to the average size of a woodchuck and the general density of wood (not including cork) if a woodchuck could chuck wood it would probably get through about 6.573 pounds per day, assuming the woodchuck is functioning correctly.
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A woodchuck would only chuck as much would as Chuck Norris would allow it to, because the woodchuck shares Chuck's name. Therefore, Chuck must punish it and make it chuck as much wood as Chuck can. So, a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as Chuck could.
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Since it is the same animal as the Groundhog, should we not instead ask : how much ground would a groundhog hog if a groundhog would hog ground?
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About Wood Chuck
Woodchucks are also called ground hogs. They are small mammals that hibernate in the winter. Every year in Spring, the most famous woodchuck/groundhog, Punxsutawny Phil, emerges to foretell how many more weeks of winter we will have.
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